Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Maybe another plan in the works

I am thinking about getting a foreign exchange student this upcoming year. I have been doing a ton of thinking about what being a parent is going to take and I’ll be very honest and say that part of me is really terrified because it is such a huge transition. I mean its going from being single and carefree to being a parent of an unknown age and behavior status child in a tiny 12 hour time period. When you put it out like that can you blame me for being super freaked out? Its not that I don’t want to be a foster parent because I really really do. I am just feeling that maybe I need to see if I could find some sort of stepping stone between the two to take on first.  That’s when it hit me that maybe the perfect transition is to host an international high school student for a year. This way I can be responsible for someone on a daily basis but maybe it won’t be quite as intense as a foster child very well might be. You know because of the fact that the majority foster kids show a high prevalence for sexual aggression and other equally as daunting issues. 

As soon as I thought about doing this it became super clear that it was the perfect stepping stone for me. I mean I would still have to welcome them into my house, provide a clean and healthy environment, and be responsible for someone besides myself. Make sure they have three meals a day to eat, transportation, clothes, entertainment, interaction, support and love. But because they are a little older and not going through some super traumatic event in life, hopefully they will end up being a little it more independent and less needy then a foster kid would be. The only thing that I worry about is that I am a single person and I have no other kid s, so is it really going to be a great place for a foreign student to be stuck for a year.  I decided to go out and investigate. I contacted a few different international hosting agencies and both of them assured me that I would be totally fine being a host parent even though I don’t have kids of my own. They say that some kids come from larger families and all they want is to be an only child in the new country.  And many kids just don’t have a preference at all. They all said that I would be perfect fit for being a host parent, and they sent me the appropriate paperwork. 

I was a host student when I was in high school. I didn’t have the best experience with my own host family and maybe this would be the chance to redeem it in some small way. Someday I might have the guts to talk about my own experiences but right now they are still pretty raw. Anyways…Now that I have the applications in hand I do have a few things to think about before taking this leap. The first one is that I will need to really figure out if I am moving of not.  See I might have the chance to rent out my parents house.  But so far they cannot commit to me an exact date that I could move in, if I am able to move in. If I take an exchange student I would have to be able to be in the house that’s in the school district where they would be attending school starting by the end of summer. And would have to continue living in it until they were finished with the school year.  I mean the last thing that the program wants is to make a poor international student change schools mid way through the year.  One of the major benefits though if I did take an international student I would not necessarily have to move into a three bedroom house right away. Unlike with the foster kids, I guess they put more trust in the decision making of international kid to not drown in my large turtle pond. So unlike when having foster kids I wouldn’t have to confine it behind locked doors in its own room. I wouldn’t have to do a lot of other junk as well cause honestly getting your house ready for foster kids is kind a freakishly daunting task in itself I’m finding.   The things that have to be inspected alone are huge, much less the little rules you need in place, and the weird things they require of your house to have. So this way I can still have a kid of my very own and be working towards the foster kid house stuff slowly so that I’m still moving forward with that being my goal.

See it’s like when they tell married people to go get a dog before you have kids, so you have some of the same responsibilities. But without fucking up a human life if you’re not ready for the responsibility in the end. I have always hated having people say that because it makes me feel sorry for the poor possibly unwanted dog.  So this is where I am at in my life right now. I am waiting a month for my parents to decide if they not only want to rent me their house but if they think they could allow me to move in by the end of summer. I think that if they can, I will try to get an international student for the year ahead. If they can’t then I might or might not be looking for a place away from their house to try to move into and get the house thing done on my own. I hate having to wait for other people to decide my destiny for me, but I get that my parents need to have some time to make that decision, because as my mom always says its 40 years worth of her life she has to figure out.  I have never been very good at just waiting. I like to always be moving forward in the directions to reach my goals. I really really really think that this is my goal in life to be a foster parent and maybe its going to take a few baby steps to get it. Baby steps are alright though so I’m happy with this being my secondary plan. But for now I am just sitting here waiting.

1 comment:

  1. I think that is a great idea! and I will try to help as soon as i get home. Ok