You are always told that if you do good things then good things will happen to you. I mean isn’t that something that every parent has told you at one point or another. Well that’s bullshit! I mean I have spent my adult life being a good person. I take care of other people more then I do myself sometimes and all that seems to happen is I end up getting screwed in the end. I don’t know what else to do and honestly I’m starting to feel that I should just stop doing good things for people all together.
It’s frustrating because there is this huge part of me that does still believe in fate doing what’s right. I mean bringing good things to those who deserve it. But my years of experience have seemed to do nothing else then show me how much waiting around for these good things suck! I am getting tired of all this waiting and doing stuff , where the rewards seem to be super lackluster compared to the deed. Recently I had another case where I am left feeling cheated by the universe and unsure what to do about it. I mean I don’t want to become this hard bitter unkind person, but at some point I feel like I have got to get some sort of positive vibe sent my way, just to show me that there is some other reason I am this way besides just cause I am. I’m tired of the hurt and the pain and the feelings of foolishness that come with being screwed over all the time.
I have sat for most of the day today alternating between anger and sadness that I am once again stuck being screwed for just having done this really amazing thing for someone else and totally unselfishly completely on my part. I don’t mean to build myself up as this “I’m so awesome and can’t do anything wrong person” So please don’t take this post as that. But I really truly do think that sometimes I am willing to go above and beyond for people. I don’t place expectations on them. I’m just willing to give people a chance where as most might not. I am that person who will come visit in someone’s darkest hour regardless of the cost I might incur as the result. And would drop anything the second someone asked me to without ever thinking twice about it. I am a good person. I really am. I am kind, and not judgmental, and loyal, and willing to give you my own arm if you needed it. I am the kind of person that people should strive to be like. One of these days I really need the universe to cut me a break and send some good karma my way as just a tiny reward for being like this. Because I gotta be honest universe… I’m starting to not want to be this way anymore and that would truly be a loss to the world. Because the world needs to have more people like me in it.
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