Thursday, August 4, 2011

My next major friend in my life

KD was my next major friend in my life. And like Jessica she is also a success story, albeit one that took a little longer to become that way.  KD and I went to elementary school together and I’m pretty sure we were always pretty friendly but never super close. Somewhere during 7th grade just as I was starting to gain a little confidence in whom I was, and having a friend again, we started to talk along with another student named Cheryl. The three of us became kind of weird friends, with Cheryl being the leader of the trio and both I and KD being pitted against each other for the main follower role most of the time. This manipulative element of friendship became more problematic as the time went along and many times our little trio was gossiping about each other and fighting. Sometime during the 7th grade year Cheryl dropped out of school (to become a model and get home schooled) and this suddenly made me and KD free to build a really normal and healthy relationship. One that was fun and didn’t have all the bitchiness that seemed to happen when Cheryl was in the picture.

 I loved hanging with KD. She brought out this whole side of me that I thought Erin had killed. With her I became this goofy, loud, funny kid who wasn’t afraid to be obnoxious and make waves. We had so much fun together. We would go to the movies and like spend our time rolling down the isles and throwing candy at each other. Just being the loud and obnoxious pre-teens we were. With KD I never stopped laughing. She became a large part of my time during that first summer. She lived with in walking distance and most days one or the other of us would head to someone’s house and hang out. One thing I remember vividly about KD is that we used to make the goofy recording of us singing songs and other random things, and to this day my uncle Bruce  still asks about her, because somehow he ended up with one of these recording and really liking her.    KD came from the same kind of family environment I did, she also had a older brother by almost the same amount of years as mine was, her parents were  together and always super nice to me. I think because I was just as much a staple in her family as she was in mine. One time I remember her mom offering to make me these shorts. See another thing about KD that I remember is that she wore shorts every single day of the year. She was kooky but never apologized for it and I liked her so much more for that. By 8th grade she was sharing the title of best friend with Jessica and the two of them weren’t unfriendly but each held a different place in my life and for the most part our relationships were kept pretty separate. 

In 8th grade my dad died. And I remember KD being around for most of the after death stuff and really being someone who I could count on. She gave me a really nice card, which strangely I still have tucked away in a box in my parents garage. She came over after the funeral and hung out with me making me laugh like she knew how to do so well. She was understanding and never treated me any different afterwards. She always said things to make me laugh and keep my mind off all the crappy stuff that was going on. For this I was so appreciative.  It’s too bad that this was the last year of our friendship and the events of what ended it occurred. See at some point I started to worry about her doing things to herself that were unhealthy. I don’t want to get into too much detail because honestly it’s not important anymore and it’s not my life to tell you about. But at the age of 14 I didn’t know the best way to try to help her so I did the only thing could think of and I told people my suspicions. Needless to say that didn’t go down too well.  I started with the school resources; see I had a guidance counselor who had suddenly started buzzing around me a lot more, because ya know whole death of father stuff put me on the radar, I’m sure as someone to look out for. So I went to him first, they talked to her and nothing really got resolved.  Still thinking that she was hurting herself and needed help I ended up telling her mom about it.  I don’t know what the outcome way of that conversation but I know that from that point on KD and I stopped being friends, and she despised me.

Looking back at my 14 year old self I have no clue if what I did was right or wrong. I do know that a few years later I again went to my friend’s parents with a concern and again ended friendships.  I guess I can’t really say if I would do the same thing again today. But that was it with KD. I became the bitchy girl who told her mom a bunch of stuff that I had no right to tell, and she became another person not in my life. Just like Erin was to me. Instead I clung on to the one great friend I had left in Jessica, I made plans to spend a year over seas as and exchange student, and I started to get friendly with crazy Cheryl again.  We finished our time at JR high without talking and did our three years of high school hardly saying more then two words to each other.  I would watch her from afar at times with her other friends and I always see that goofy fun girl I knew, she never lost that part of herself over the years.  I moved on with out her as my friend, but I admit that I missed her, I missed her more then I think I knew at the time.  

But anyways like I said that the beginning of this story this is a good friendship story not a bad one.  At some point when I was living in Oregon somehow one or the other of us found each other on Facebook. Yes again with the whole Facebook bring my former friends out of the woodwork. I remember having a few written conversations on email and at some point making arrangements to meet for lunch when I was in town. I was kind of nervous because it was like 15 years later and honestly had no clue what to expect. Well it went great we had a nice lunch shared stories of our life and vowed to keep in touch.  When I headed back to Oregon I remember taking the time to call her, a lot of the time it was when I was going on random ranch calls and such.  She was fun to talk with and knew all about animals so she was always good to talk to about my job.  When I moved back to the Seattle area our lunches became more frequent and started to be more then just two old friends hanging out and more like just regular friends hanging out.  We also started to hang out outside of the restaurants, going to dog parks with our dogs and other places.  It was like all this drama from our youth didn’t exist anymore and we were able to find common things to share together.  And she still makes me laugh with her fun stories and the fact that she is one of the goofiest people I know. In so many ways she is still the exact same person I loved at the age of 13 just in a grown up body and in a good way.

Today I consider her a great friend.  She was one of the first people I called when I had gotten hurt and needed help going to the hospital. And like I knew she would she offered to drop everything and head on over to take me in the middle of the night. When I went out of the country she offered to house sit for me just because she is that good friend, and all she required in return was a thank you and a present form my vacation. When I really think about my relationships I don‘t really have too many true friendships, I know I have mentioned before I rarely seem to fight hard to keep people in my life. So I guess I’m proud of myself for making the effort with KD, because now I know that I have another real and true friend, and for that I am thankful beyond belief.

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