Saturday, December 31, 2011

My year in 2011

Its weird a week ago I think this post would have turned out entirely different. I was in this place were I was feeling really great about life things and secure about my plans for 2012 and almost ready to unveil them to the world. Something happened though; and I don’t want to get into what it is right now, but it has left me suddenly back to know having a clue what or where 2012 is going to take me. So as I have sit here and stare at my blank screen trying to type a farewell to 2011, I don’t really know exactly how to proceed.
I started off the year thinking that it was going to be just another year. I was still working at my day practice and enjoying what I was doing. One of my co-workers started to really heavy get into a specialty field of veterinary medicine.  And as I spent the first part of the year watching her find this passion, I started to feel that although I loved my job and the kind of work I was doing,  I had somewhere along the almost three years I worked in day practice,   stopped having that same amount of passion. It made me start to think about where I felt that last and I almost immediately knew it was while I was doing emergency.  I spent the months of May and June interviewing at all the different emergency practices around town trying to find a place there where I would start to feel that same excitement that my fellow co-worker was showing.  I found it in a large emergency hospital and specialty center close to my house where I have spent the last six months being the lead overnight person.

Its crazy the type of things that we do at my new job and I love that we practice this caliber of medicine and that we are able to perform so many of the same kind of procedures that are seen in human medicine. I work with an amazing group of doctors who are always push that line of keeping things alive in every means possible and the kind of medicine is truly remarkable. I won’t lie and say that starting a new job has been easy because it wasn’t. I’ve worked so many weeks where I have been so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. I have kind of allowed work to take over so many of the volunteer activities that I spent the year so eagerly loving, and even had to quit doing many of them due to my new job. I have kind of allowed work to become that one thing that I focus on. I forget about seeing my family, I forget about seeing my friends, I didn’t get to take any of the summer trips I normally do to camp or hike. This job is so intense that even when I don’t work I have to recover from work on my days off. I have not had a set schedule much so until this last month or so I have never been able to make huge plans very far in advance,, so I don’t get to see the people who are important to me as much; like my little sister and my god daughter and nieces. But I keep thinking that this is the choice I made by taking this new job and these are what sacrifices I do have to make to work in emergency medicine, much less be the person in charge.  The problem is that as I sit here looking into 2012 I don’t know if I still want to make those same sacrifices and have another year go by where I just work. I really have to sit and think about if all these sacrifices are really worth it. What good thing has come out of starting at my new place is that I did push myself towards the beginning and make myself go out of my comfort zone and talk to some of my new co-workers I mean really talk to them. Open up about who I am what my faults are and I found that in this six month period I have made some really awesome new friends, who I think I’ll also be able to have for a long time in my life. As so many of you know making friends isn’t easy for me so I take pride in the fact that I have succeeded in this endeavor as quick as I have.

On the pet front 2011 has also kind of been a bad one. In July I had to put Max my older cat down because her chronic kidney infections all of the sudden turned into a liver disease that I wasn’t able to get under control. It’s never easy to loose a member of the family especially one that has been with you for so long. Its weird cause although I do miss her, she never was my favorite. Her being gone has found a great balance to my other two cats Spooky and Clapton though and suddenly having all healthy and easy cats has made this crazy work schedule manageable. Morgan the dog was sad that I didn’t find as much time to take her out to the beach or go hiking this year. And she has had to settle for walks around the neighborhood instead. She misses being able to spend the day in a kennel at my work watching the activities around her and eagerly waiting for someone to throw in a few treats. She instead spend some of the week at home and on a few occasions I still get to bring her  with me to work, she ends up being locked in a part of the hospital that’s unused so its not as fun for her.  I have found a niche this last year as a foster home for a few turtles and tortoises as they have continued to grow as a passion. I took in Boris the Russian tortoise that lost his lower jaw due to neglect and I got under weight and mal nourished. He is doing great although I have to keep him separated because he turns out to be quite aggressive with the others and very territorial. Lynch is an aquatic turtle who came to me from one of the shelters. She was neglected and abused to the point where they had to amputate her right front arm as well as part of her tail and a few toes off her back leg.  She needed quite a bit of medicine the first few weeks I had her. But now she is a part of the aquatic pond and swimming around great and happy as can be to have some friends surrounding her.  All the other turtles and tortoises have been happy and healthy, and still a love and joy to have around.

I guess that’s kind of it for me this year, well other then just dating a ton some of it good some of it horrible.  I have given the run down on the major things that have occurred and went on for me this year.  I never know where my life is going to take me. I have no clue what choices are going to occur in the next year and I try to live as much in the day to day as I can so I feel things as they happen.  I never knew if I was going to like writing this blog. I figured I would give it a year and see what happens. It has evolved into something that I love doing. I love that people can have the choice to read about me or then don’t. I love that I can give people a little window into my soul and they can see who I am in this unfiltered manor.  As someone put it so great a year ago in during the first few days of its existence, It’s like opening a vein to spill what’s inside.  Next year I am going to continue to share my journey in life whatever that may be.  For now I have about an hour until I head back to work and ring in another year. I know that next year is going to be just as strange of a ride as this year was, and I hope that maybe in a year while I am writing this looking back post I feel a little bit more confident in my future then I do today.  Today I am pretty lost as to what my next big step in life is going to be. But like always I’ll figure it out and share it with you as I do.  Good by 2011 you were kind of a strange ride but I enjoyed it none the less.


  1. Martha your amazing I learn more and more about you everyday. So happy to be your friend and I will be on your side no matter what happens. Happy New Year ill see you tonight

  2. Life is like that you never know whats coming down the pike but I know you are a strong woman and i am proud to be your MOM!